March 19, 20 and 21

For today I have for you three tiny journal pages, made triangular, and some philosophy.

In my own defense, I am tired and punch-drunk, but here are triangles for March 19, 20 and 21. I missed completely March 16-18 because the high school musical was happening, and that takes all of my attention until we strike the set and put it to bed. The following day I spent sleeping (three pillows and many Zs) and then contracted Alice’s vicious stomach bug which laid me out such that knitting was all I was capable of, followed by today’s three triangles to catch up.

I am feeling apologetic because I have not been as diligent about these daily projects as I was for previous daily projects, and I attempted to spend some time today thinking about it. Sadly I have no (useful) conclusions, just sweary notes to myself about dedication and persistence and doing what I say I will.

The first time I started a daily project, I had two children in school, coming home daily, and very little time to myself. The studio time I could carve out of my regular life was precious, and I made a point of standing in my room every day for a half hour at least. The postcards I made were a direct result of that. Through the postcard project I honed my skills, explored materials and techniques, and found some ideas I mined for the next several years. I also learned how to be efficient in the studio.

The next time I started a daily project it was across a year that had one child starting college and the other starting high school, as well as me starting a larger commitment to the high school theater program than I had before. I had more uninterrupted time in my studio, and the circles became more like a period at the end of each day – something I’d seen or thought of or was in some fashion related to the time and the theme of the month. I made a point of giving the circles away – call it karma, call it advertising – and that practice made me more widely known, and opened several doors for me.

This year I have one child mostly independent, living and working in Boston, and one at college. The house is empty, but not all the time – I joke about having 1/7 of one child and 3/7 of the other – and I have no set schedule or requirements. I am attempting to locate my practice in something besides opposition to other people’s time constraints, and it is harder than I thought.

I guess the thing I am taking away from all this introspection is that I should carry on, to the best of my ability and patience, making a daily triangle, and something will have changed at the end.

In the mean time, thank you for your patience while I think out loud, on the internet.


4 thoughts on “

  1. These are lovely. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Daily practices, I think, are only good insofar as they motivate you; when they’re just making you feel guilty they don’t serve their purpose.
    I recently had my first child (she’s 9 months old) and am trying to adjust to not having any time at all for creative work. It’s very interesting to hear from someone who’s out the other side of it.

    Like

    1. I’m so sorry it took so long to fish your comment out of the filter – totally distracted by other things!

      I started really enjoying parenthood right around 9 months. Before that it felt like a relentless, sleepless slog, and right around then it got…easier somehow. It might have been sleep, it might have been that my daughter was more responsive, or I was learning how to parent, but I hope something like that will happen for you too!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. your thoughts here are compelling, and i so understand you. i’m past that now, by some time, in fact, but i remember it. you’re doing fine. really.

    Like

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